The bright white of Salt

12 de Octubre

Pin the tail on the llama wasn't the most successful game at the Blind Home

We lazed about in Sucre for a couple of days, enjoying the best city in Bolivia, in all its modernness combined with its whitewashed traditional design. This included a visit to a dinosaur theme park, which might have been decent had we not have come from Toro Toro, so it was really only a time filler. Back in 1995, some workers quarrying for a cement factory, which now exists on the site, accidentally discovered some perfectly preserved prehistoric dinosaur footprints, some belonging none other to the mighty T Rex and the Brontosaurus. So work was stopped to preserve the finds and open the area up as a national and natural attraction. The footprints were located on sheer cliff faces, and unfortunately subject to the elements around it. Twelve years later, after 40 million years, part of the cliff collapsed and some of the prints were lost forever, extinct again. So there are now only a few left. But on the bright side, there are some supersize models that rival Australia’s big prawns and pineapples on major highways, and a playground with a slide.

The nagging T rex was the real cause of extinction upon her species

The special kid refused to believe the animal was just a toy

It was time to move further south to the undoubted highlight of the country, the Salar de Uyuni, or the Salt Flats.

We took a bus from Sucre, which was magnificently pleasant in comparison to our last journey by this mode of transport. Mind you, hay riding in the back of a cattle truck would have been more comfortable. We toasted fond memories of the cockroaches from Cochabamba and relaxed on the bus that took us down an actual, real paved road, towards Uyuni, the main gateway for the salt flats.

The trip drove past Potosi, the highest populated city in the world, in terms of altitude, over 4000m above sea level. It was the centre of trade and subsequent riches between the newly discovered South America and the Spanish Empire back in the 1500’s, when silver was discovered in its soil. It still producers silver as well as tin, but the city is not as prosperous as history used to giveth.

QR would have much difficulty explaining the latest rail delay to their customers

The machine gun swing was a very risky minute of fun..

Arriving in Uyuni is like driving into a sandpit head on. And living there. It’s a dusty town, a mud brick oasis in the middle of a harsh windswept desert, in Southern Bolivia. It really only exists due to the salt flats and the massive tourism boom that they have created. The town contains many hostels, tour agencies, and pubs with some serious drinking competitions, such as one, which will put you up on its honour board if you manage to town ten shots in the quickest time possible, the record currently being 30 seconds. We decided not to try this time, but when you walk out of the pub into the cold and windy streets and trudge head down to keep the sand from gritting your eyes, its very tempting to head back in and down that booze.

Hitchhiking on a road to nowhere

The authorities refused to believe there was a need to change the name from Fish Island

mmmmmm...

The following morning we headed off in our 4WD, eight of us, including driver and a guide, who didn’t guide a hell of a lot, toward the Salt Flats and surrounds, our destination on a 3-day/2-night tour. Two Australians, two Icelanders, a Brit and a Bolivian with a rats tail. It’s still cool here.

Before reaching our destination, there was a quick stop at the Train Graveyard, so called because of the wrecks of locomotives strewn across a landscape, rusted toys clunked together in the dirt. A see saw and a swing have been built into the ruins. They really love playgrounds here. We decided to graffiti one of the trains. Being from Australia, that’s what everyone does.

A fair few years ago, like tens of millions or so, South America used to have the ocean cut right through it, from west to east. Due to tectonic activities over the ages, the continents shifted and as such, South America became the form it is today, and the land surrounded the ocean, forming an inland water mass, or a giant salty lake. Naturally, being in the desert, this lake dried up, and all was left was salt. And this today is the Salar de Uyuni.

Blindingly white stark horizons greet you as you driver across the flats. There is nothingness, just white and blankness as you motor along, until eventually a mountain range comes into view, adding to the surreal landscape.

 We of course took the opportunity for crazy photos, with landscapes so incredible they allow for humorous tricks that obliterate the need for photoshopping.

The area is still mined for salt, which doesn’t actually involve any heavy machinery or technique, you just go out there with a shovel and get what you want, and sprinkle some all over your chips. There is presumably a vinegar mine nearby.

The cactus was again caught out looking the wrong way at photo time

The health inspectors would fine pringles a small amount for their oversight

Stubborn llama wouldn't want to walk until he was fed a smacko

The genie would go back in her bottle if she wouldn't stop dancing

The giant was unaware of the midgets cries

The high winds claimed another victim

The cocaine dealer was very hard to refuse

The llama would make a nice side to the Kylie stew

The llama blimp always spoiled a good photo

Extreme horse riding was popular in Bolivia

The Salty Crew

The idiots needed signs to point out the cacti

Other than the salt flats, the other attractions around the area are staggering. They are just mind boggling to believe that they are part of our planet. If we ever happen to chance upon a trip to Mars, we will be well versed on what to expect, if we use the Red Lagoon as an example. We drove through barren mountains; so windswept the plants have taken off for better climes. The area is arid, with only icy winds to add to the desolation, save for some furry viscachas, which are a rabbit like creature, that survives off the pittance of moss that is unfortunate enough to be cumbersome upon jagged rocks. That, and the delicious spaghetti Alfredo that tourists seem to bring along to feed the cuddly creatures.

The lake is red, hence the name Red Lake (Lagoon). Good one that. They also have a Green Lagoon too. Which, just to confuse, is blue. It occasionally is from time to time due to climatic conditions. Thousands of Flamingos take up residence in these lagoons, defying inhospitableness and finding refuge from the meagre offerings patrolling the surface of the lake.

There is an island called Fish Island, which is made up of many cacti, rather than goldfish. Thousands of them, all the slow growing type, although I’m not sure there are many others, but extremely impressive nonetheless, growing at the astonishingly slow rate of one metre per one hundred years. And there are some very tall ones there. The area is part of a national park, which has a few buildings made of salt, but only some are legal, as the craze here many years ago was to try and be a tad enterprising and make your own hotel with the abundance of natural material on your doorstep. All well and good, but environmentally, this turned out to be a shocker, especially in regards to sewage, which tended to discolour the salt, just a wee bit. (Nice pun there).

Customers were forced into long waits for buses on the salt flats

Yes, we know you are dirty

Graffiti, desert style

The teenagers could not hide their dope habit anymore

Bong hide and seek would have only two locations

Flamingoes are only allowed to stand here...

Penalties for flying are very severe

Mars.

Further towards the Chilean border, we came across some geysers, viciously spewing and spurting boiling mud from cracks in the surface, adding to the surreal landscapes we had already encountered. Of course these were best viewed from a safer distance of a metre or so, and not just because of the risk of slipping into a pit and broiling to a painful, dirty death, but because the sulphuric smell was more intoxicating than a Bolivian public toilet.

The nights were cold. Bitterly, bone chilling and teeth chattering cold. We stayed in basic hostels, out in the middle of nowhere, one of which was naturally warm due to the salt construction, but on the second night, it felt like we were camping on in an igloo. We would spent the nights, after dinner and before the electricity was turned off, playing cards, although we found that it was difficult to deal with gloved hands. The temp was close to ten or so below zero, before the wind of death was even a factor.  But it was not enough to prevent us from enjoying an outdoor dip in one of the hot springs on the outskirts of the village. After disrobing, which wasn’t a quick activity considering we had to rid ourselves of thermals, three layers of gear, a few jackets and footwear, we slipped into the 36 degree water and lived for the moment, enjoying the immense warmth until it was time to proceed with our journey. This involved the incredible danger of exiting the pool in only our togs, to race to the warm clothes as quickly as possible to avoid exposure from the negative air.

A few hours later we had arrived at frontier with Chile, and of course, what’s a Bolivian border crossing without a bit of corruption, and once again, the wankers slugged me, and everyone for that matter, a few dollars “tax” to exit the country.

Hard not to imagine what the country would be like if officialdom wasn’t so corrupt, considering the wealth of resources below the ground the nation sits on. Probably would be like Chile.

But the locals just shrug their shoulders, and explain “That’s Bolivia”. Its not though, and shouldn’t be, it has some of the most stunning sights on the planet, as we were lucky enough to have experienced and been witness to. If only someone decent was in charge of the place.

Maybe I’ll give it a go.