Viajar el mundo: Swimming with Dr Nick

Instead of rescuing the drowning cameraman, the subjects stole his hat and smiled

5 de Julio

We should start with an apology. We realise that most of our audience is going through a winter at the moment, some in colder places than others, so the following pictures may warrant anger towards us. Especially if you are reading this on a late, crowded train, on your way to work. You may be reading this at your desk, and you toggle over and see the dozens of unanswered emails from idiot colleagues or clients. Perhaps you can close your eyes and dream of the bright blue Caribbean Sea, the fine dusty white sands that shift and squeak beneath your feet, the cool sands as you relax with your favourite book under a palm tree, or imagine yourself floating away on the sea with not a care in the world except your choice of restaurant in the evening.

The sun bathing plants could not afford the ten peso chair rental

Sideshow Bob was always crashing beach photos

Welcome to Isla Mujeres. This jewel of the Caribbean, just off the east coast of Mexico’s Yucatan peninsula, 30 minutes from Cancun. We have spent seven days here, which is four days longer than originally planned. I guess you can see why.

We arrived last Friday at about 5pm after two flights from Oaxaca, a bus trip and ferry crossing. The minute we hit the beach was the moment we changed our plans. Other stuff can wait, or not happen at all. And it does, when you visit a place like this.

So for the purpose of a blog entry and some substance and content, I am going to have to make a lot of stuff up. I mean, all we have done is lie on this beach, Playa Norte, and gaze into the amazing views. Not very exciting at all really. In fact, getting the motivation to complete this job was very very difficult indeed. Those tree huggers are wasting their time with their wacky weed, just come here if you really want to chill out and be the laziest creature on earth.

The invading trees would have to wait until winter to make their move across the lake

In all seriousness, we have tended to a few activities. The highlight was our swim with whale sharks. To get there was a mission, well for me it was, due to the fact that I tend to get seasick watching The Love Boat. And not due to the acting. As we left our room in the morning, Kylie did remind me to perhaps pop a pill to prevent possible vomits. I scoffed at this suggestion. Me brave. After a rough one hour crossing in open waters chopping like an axeman, I put a carrot omelette into the sea, a bit of fish food for the whales. The captain then laughed and pushed me in the water, “You will feel better in there son”. Cheers Skipper.

But once I came to, I joined Kylie in the water for an amazing experience. You see pictures of the animals and think that they are really big, but when you are less than a metre away, swimming side by side with them, you realise the enormity of their size, and their unbelievable beauty. The patterns, the spots, their temperaments. Their tameness as they glide gracefully towards you, and then brush you without a hint of malice. It is something we will never ever forget. But I am very sorry for chucking in your bath.

The return crossing was much more placid, and we even stopped for a touch of snorkelling. Unless some giant fish with bad ass tattoos or an octopus with a machine gun rocked up, nothing was going to impress more than the whale sharkies.

Lunch was ceviche (kinda like raw fish cooked in lime juice) and chicken sandwiches (kinda like chicken in bread) and we would have dusted them off with a few beers, but being election day Sunday, Mexico was dryer than a camels arse, as all beer was banned in case some crazy amigo miscounted a few votes after a few Sols.

Underwater dominoes was very difficult to master

The whale shark would be fined for ignoring life jacket requirements

Monday was spent on the beach. As was Tuesday. And Wednesday. And Thursday. Although we did have a slight break in our routine, thanks to a visit from Mr Intestinal Parasite.

I had been a bit wobbly for a number of days, so I thought I should pop in and say hello to the local medico on the Island. To be honest, if his clinic wasn’t directly opposite the hotel I’m not sure I would have gone to see him, such is my laziness. But into the office I went, and if their was ever a human version of Dr Nick Riviera (“Hi everybody!”….”Hi Dr Nick”) from The Simpsons, this guy was it. It may have been the internet printout diplomas on the wall, the handwritten prescriptions where I add my own details, or the pictures on the wall of him with Dr Phil and Dr Oz, where he has photo shopped his head onto other bodies. But he relieved me of some beer money (“You wont need beer with these drugs you’re on”) and fixed me within hours of my bug, much to Kylies delight, but more so to the hotel manager who was about to start charging me for excess toilet paper use.

When we haven’t been on the beach, we have been relaxing in the hotel, usually on the upstairs terrace on a hammock overlooking the main street. It’s a nice, comfortable place on the main street in town, and has a resident kitten named Roca and a parrot named Cody. For $20 a night, it’s a good deal, but the lack of air con in a place where night time temperatures are rarely below 25 degrees, has made us seek out chilled rooms in the future.

The bird could not figure out why his back was all wet and smelling of pee

There is also a local basketball competition played on the local court that we wander past from time to time. Its only exciting to watch as the referee has a wooden leg so the efforts he makes to get from one end of the court to the other are nothing short of outstanding. And time outs are only called when the local kids decide to skateboard across the court during play.

Next stop is Cancun, although it’s mainly a base for two days while we arrange a trip to Chichen Itza, and be closer to the airport for our flight to Panama on Sunday. Cancun has a rowdy reputation as being full of American drunks, and all high-rise hotels and resorts, so it will be in and out for us.

We will of course check this out for ourselves, but thanks to Dr Nick and his medications, we will not be one of those.

By the way, Senor Chicken was unsuccessful in the vote count and is now back to his daytime role at Mexican Red Rooster